Meeting Minutes of Mount Olympus
by FlashFreeze
Summary: A meeting takes place in Mount Olympus. What are the Gods really thinking as they discuss the issues? Some humour. Some family. Reviews are appreciated. AND NOT EVERYTHING IS MYTHOLOGICALLY ACCURATE. HIATUS
1. Persephone

**Meeting in Mount Olympus: **

_Persephone_

I've always loved sitting in on meetings. It's almost fall, so after today's meeting I'll be going home early, with Hades. Oh, in case you have not noticed, I'm Persephone, Goddess of Spring Growth, and Queen of the Underworld. I guess that's an oxymoronic title, seeing as, spring is a time of life, and I live half my life in the underworld. Actually that makes sense, since when I leave things die, so I'm more of a paradox... right? Whatever. I've totally lost track of where this meeting is going. Zeus called yet another meeting and is currently talking right now. Usually, Hades does not attend, so he was removed from the Twelve Olympians, but today the meeting is something about Gaia, their grandmother visiting. That's kind of weird.

Who is at this meeting anyways?

Zeus. My dad, god of the sky, and thunder. Actually, I think he is either everyone's dad or brother. Weird. But, He is also the King of the Gods, and makes all the decisions. He uses lightning to strike fear into all our hearts. Ha-ha get it? Strike fear, like lightning strike? Okay, bad joke. Anyways, Zeus isn't exactly the good guy everyone seems to think he is. He sleeps around everywhere. Half of his kids are illegitimate, and he has issues with toying with the mortals. Daddy is not really the shining example that the mortals worship him for.

Hera. Goddess of marriage and motherhood. Which is kind of weird, because she is not at all motherly. In fact, she's really scary, and over the top controlling. I do understand her being the Goddess of marriage. She married her own brother (though, I did marry my uncle.) and he sleeps around, behind her back. All her kids are actually hers and Zeus' children. Poor lady. Not really, since every time Zeus would be caught with another woman, she would either kill the woman, or cause tribulations for her. Poor, cynical woman.

Poseidon. God of seas, earthquakes and horses. I don't know too much about Uncle Poseidon. I know he has a lot of kids. And like daddy, they're mostly illegitimate. I have a brother and sister from him! They're horses, Arion and Despina ( ). When Mommy was looking for me, he saw her again for the first time since they were young. But she didn't want to have kids, so she became a mare, but he became a stallion, and I guess he raped her. Because she was a horse, they had horse babies. Uncle controls weather, so when he gets mad it gets stormy, and earthquakes happen. It is kind of cool.

Mommy! Demeter, my mommy, Goddess of fertility, agriculture, nature, and the seasons. Mommy is so nice. Kind of, she really hates Hades. It started off when they were kids, he used to accidentally kill of the things she planted, and it intensified when he kidnapped me. But that's okay, I love them both equally. When mommy is happy, so is the earth, when she isn't well, it's winter. Oh and mommy, can be controlling too. She used to never let me out of her sight, and when Hades visits me when I'm in the above world, she gets mad and makes it rain. Mommy also tried to control who I dated. She hid me away from the Olympian gods, by living on earth. I can be like her too I guess.

Aphrodite. Goddess of love, beauty and sexuality. I hate that biotch. Stupid slut. She tried to argue Adonis from me. I don't really care anymore about him though, cause he was just a mortal, and Hades is my only one. I'd only ever have sex with him. Unlike Aphrodite, who runs around shoving everything down there. She cheats on her husband all the time, and even if she doesn't love him, she should not do that. She bases everything on looks not personality. Why is she the goddess of love? I get beauty, and sexuality, but love? She doesn't really love. She makes it, but she does not spread it. She spreads her legs though. Way too often. None of the girls up here like her too much. The guys do, except my Hades. I'm glad he's so apathetic.

Apollo. He's the God of light, healing, music, poetry, prophecy, archery, and the arts. I don't really know him. He used to have this huge crush on me, but I didn't really like him. And neither did mommy. I think it's because he's bisexual. That's not a bad thing though, mommy's just extremely conservative.

Ares. God of war and bloodshed. That's all. He liked me too, but I think he's a jerk. He also has sex with Aphrodite, so he obviously has terrible taste, that and she's a married woman. I just don't know him at all, nor do I care to.

Artemis. Goddess of the hunt and the moon. She's pretty nice. I like her. I don't know her very well, but I hear good things about her. She killed Adonis, and I'm thankful for that. She opened my eyes to what a loser he truly is. She's really verbal, and outspoken. I like her dogs. Oh, she's a virgin.

Athena. Goddess of wisdom, crafts, and battle strategy. She's also a virgin. She is so smart. I like talking to her because she has normal opinions. We may not be that close, but I do appreciate her being there. Actually, maybe we are close. I always talk to her and tell her about my feelings. She always comforts me and give me great advice. I wonder what goes on in her mind. I really do like her. She's really likeable actually, almost everyone likes her. She's Zeus' favourite kid. I don't mind that, she deserves it. Athena is a great friend. I think Hades likes her too, because they're both Gods who stick to themselves, stay in the dark, keep their minds. Maybe that is why I like her so much.

Dionysus. God of wine, festivities and ecstasy. He seems eternally drunk. And stupid. He's fat. And Balding.

Hephaestus. God of fire and the forge. He's good at making weapons. Poor guy, he's ugly, but kind. I appreciate that. His wife doesn't. Aphrodite, just goes around everywhere behind his back. Oh, he liked me too.

Hermes. God of commerce and thieves. Messenger of the Gods. I don't know why this loser is here. He's the God of thieves. Thieves? Is that really so important that he may be included in the Twelve Olympians? And Commerce? That's not important for Gods, we don't own businesses. That loser had a big crush on me, and tried to take me home to mommy. Away from Hades.

Hestia. Goddess of the hearth and of the right ordering of domesticity and the family. She's my auntie. Auntie Hestia is the third Virgin goddess, and the nicest. She and Hades get along quite well, because they're both the nicest. Auntie gave up her position as part of the twelve to Dionysus, because she did not like all the fighting. She's so sweet. She always gives me fruits to eat, and always welcomes me and Hades. She's really quiet, and tends to never be rude. I love her. She's everyone's favourite.

Eros. God of erotic love and desire. I don't really know him. I only know that, he's here because of his mom. Like me. He claims that he is the one who made Hades love me, but I know for a fact, that he was not in our region at the time. He was busy being whipped around by his mommy. That and Hades said Eros is scared as hell of him. Eros is Aphrodite and Ares' son. Haha, poor loser.

Hades. God of the underworld and riches. Lord of the Underworld, my husband. I love him so much. He's always been faithful to me. I think he liked too other girls, but I got rid of those two bitches. It's all in the past. Five centuries ago. Goodness, he's such a good husband. I can't believe at first, he kidnapped me and I hated him. Now I love him so much, even when I am angry with him, I want to be with him. He's actually so sweet. He does everything a real husband should, and he does what I ask, and gives me everything I want. Even when I do not ask. He's really quiet, but good at listening. He always listens to me, when I talk to him, and remembers things I say. He's so sweet; he even lets me grow things in the Underworld. I know he hates these meetings. Maybe if I hold his hand he'll smile. Oh, He did. Mommy does not look like she approves. Oh well, what can I say? I love him.

Wait, what'd Zeus just say? Maybe I should start listening now.


	2. Hades

**Meeting in Mount Olympus:**

_Hades_

Why am I even here? It's urgent, he says. It's important, he claims. Gaia, is coming to Olympus. Who really cares? She's just our "grandmother". They are the Gods of Olympus. Shouldn't they be able to take her on? They took down the titans, how can it be so hard to please Gaia? I hardly know this chick anyways. I want to go home. I want to get back to my dark world. No, not dark and dreary. It's not dreary. Not to me. This place is dreary to me. I hate Olympus. I hate how everyone is so obnoxious here. Maybe that is why I like the underworld. Everyone there is a dead mortal. Simple. Down to earth. Down from earth. They don't whine about power and riches, and they don't lust for fifty people at a time. Some of them are assholes, but seriously, they're in Tartarus, nobody gives half a crap about them. I miss home. I even miss Thanatos. He may be the demon God of death but at least he does not brag about his accomplishments. I just want to go home, and sit on my throne and think about what I want to think about. Or lie on my bed, and just shut my eyes. Let the fates do what they do.

Zeus looks at me. I just stare. They're used to me being unresponsive. I know he asked me something. I just will not speak. Not like I ever do. I guess that's why they think I'm an outcast. A stiff. I don't think I am. I just want to have an intelligent conversation. Zeus, Poseidon, my sisters, save Hestia, don't make sense. They're just all so… strange. The only ones I ever really talk to are Persephone and Hestia, and maybe Athena, Artemis and Eros. They're the only ones who can talk normally. I know what everyone else thinks. I'm gloomy, I'm cold, I'm aloof, uncaring remote. I have heard what they say, but I choose to not care. Why should I?

Like Aphrodite. Holy shit, that girl is such a ditz. All she can think of is men and the part that makes us men. Either that or how beautiful she is. Seriously, that girl should grow a brain.

She's looking at me. I see from the corner of my eye. I hate this. I hate her stare. I wish she'd stop looking. It's so annoying. Goddess of beauty? No, not really. Sex and love? Yea. Maybe if I think hard enough, she'll look away. _**No, bitch, I will not nor do I want to have sex with you**__._ Good Goddess, why does she have to stare at everyone else now. She's got Hephaestus, does she really need everyone else. I look to Persephone; I know they hate each other. It's cause of that Adonis kid. Old news.

I take a bored glance around the room. Hey, I have a reputation to keep up you know. I look around counter clockwise. It's the Olympian twelve and four others including myself. Why are there even twelve? What's so special about twelve? It's not a divine number. It's actually so random. And Olympus can hold far more than just twelve. I guess nobody wants to share. But seriously what's with the twelve? What makes them so important, that they're so highly worshipped and acknowledged? Seriously, what is there to discuss; nothing. Like I said, nobody talks about anything. They don't guard humans, they toy with them. They don't make peace, they destroy it. If there is something to discuss, they'll all just fight. I look around again. Why are some of these people even part of the twelve? _I'm_ not even in the twelve and that's by choice. Like, Dionysus, God of wine? Are you kidding me? Why is this jerk even here? Hestia, gave up a spot for him? Please, if there is a higher God out there, remind me why did I ever come to this stupid meeting in the first place. Nobody here will discuss anything worth discussing. Nothing will affect me or my realm.

Believe it or not, I love being the God of the Underworld. I'm separate from them. From everything else. It's my World, and I have to share it with Persephone only half the time. It's great. I make the rules. Mostly. I decide who goes where and who deserves what. Nobody can punish me. Nothing can touch me. Except Persephone, but who needs those secret details. I don't have to have meetings where everybody has an opinions and everybody fights about it. It's just the quiet comfort of the noisy dead. I don't venture to far into their lives either. The dead stay in their side. Outside my palace. Most of them stay in the fields of Asphodel. I don't care where anyone goes, so long as they keep out of my private chambers. They can run into the rivers for all I care. Besides, nobody can die twice. Looking at everyone here, I miss my domain.

Honestly, why does almost everyone here, think I'm extremely jealous of them. They can't do anything without Zeus' permission. I can. Mostly. I can decide if someone can walk among the living again, though I tend not to allow that, or nobody would die. I can decide on what it looks like. If the Elysian fields, should look gloomy, I will make it gloomy. And if tartarus should have sun, I will make it have sun. But why change what makes sense. I'm the one who let Persephone fill my palace with flowers. And no, I do not hate it. I'm might like darkness and shadows, but I'm not some anti-flower/nature freak. I can choose who goes where, but the can wander if they can get past the guards who do give a damn. I'm the one who they fear anyways, and they only think I care. Actually, I kind of do. Only if it's important. Like if a kid ran into the Elysian fields, that's not my problem. Maybe Rhadamanthys will, but I don't. However if a thief in Tartarus ran into my domain, I'd send him back, painfully.

Oh, I really do not like inflicting pain. Seriously, I bet half you mortals, and some of the Gods here believe I do. I'm the God of the Underworld. Not the God of Pain, Suffering and torture. Do we even have that? I'm not him. Sorry, but I'm just the God of the Underworld. And riches. If someone dies, guess what… It wasn't my choice. The fates, pick who dies and Thanatos goes and gets them, and Charon rows them across River Styx. I just direct them to their rightful place. If they go to Tartarus they deserve it. I'm not a sadist, I won't put everyone in Tartarus because it brings me pleasure. Seriously, that's disturbing. Sorry to burst you're bubble, but, I'm not disturbed. I am at the moment, due to the attitude of what you can call _my family_, but for real, I am not unstable. I did look into the future. That's a perk of being the ruler of the Underworld. The three fates. Anyways, I have seen the future. You assholes. I saw that childish moving drawing play thing. I'm that blue monstrosity with fire for hair. Yeah, I'm not like that. I don't say babe. It is not my intention for "[I] Hades, to rule all". I definitely do not cheer for myself and exclaim "Yes, a-Hades rules." I don't have two minions that are complete imbeciles; I do not use girls who have sold their souls. I don't even buy souls. They have to come anyways, so what's the point? Who even drew me? My hair is not blue fire. Nor is my skin. I don't erupt into red when I'm angry. I do take a new form, but not like that. Not to stroke my own ego, but I am a God. I look rather dashing. The only ugly God is Hephaestus, I saw him in that moving drawing. I looked worse. You mortals are so… condemning. I don't even do anything wrong.

Who cares about you all. I glance around again. My goodness. Why does Demeter always glare at me? Every moment I look around, she's already looking back, with her earthy green eyes. Your daughter does love me now. And I love her too. And Demeter, we were already family to begin with you're forced to love me. I hate it when people stare at me. I hate attention. Another reason to love the underworld, nobody pays attention to you, unless you bring it to yourself, which I do not. I glance with my peripherals. Bad move. She's still glaring. Look at Zeus. Look at Zeus. No don't. Hera. No. My goodness, I hate my family. No, not really. Only during meetings. Why is it, that whenever I look at someone, they always look back. Hera stares. She looks just as bored as me, only pissed. Why, is she eternally pissed. She married Zeus, she should have seen it coming. Well, better him than me. Who else is there to stare at? Poseidon. Yuck. Hestia. She should have been the eldest, but she's really the youngest. Oh well, she's my favourite sibling because she's actually normal. And she does not try to start fights and doesn't make war. We're the peaceful ones. She's also not part of the Annoying Twelve Olympians. She stepped down, for Dionysus, which again, I question.

Hestia is still a virgin. So is Athena and Artemis. By choice. They like it that way. Everyone else. No. Everyone here save Hera, Persephone and myself are promiscuous to the point that, they have uncountable amounts of children. I envy that. I wish I could grant Persephone children. Being the God of the Underworld, all I can do is take life, not give it. I cannot create a living child for my wife to harbour. I know Persephone wants children. So do I. I don't hate kids. I don't happiness. Why does everyone see me as anti-happy? I'm not constantly sad. I'm actually usually happy, and if not happy, I'm aloof. I just realized how stupid most of these guys are. If I hated happiness, why did I marry Persephone? Why did I take her to the underworld to make it happier? Because it makes me sad? Does that even make sense? What kind of twisted rumours is everyone making in their own minds?

Persephone. She's the only one who understand me. Maybe it's because of those first few months we spent together, or because she really does understand. I really do love her. At first I lied to everyone and blamed Eros for hitting me with an arrow, but I know that is untrue. I fell in love with her when I first saw her. She was dancing in a field. I always came back to watch. I thought maybe I'd get over her, but I did not. I kidnapped her to get her to notice me. I wish I were not so socially awkward. I could have just talked to her then. However, if Demeter saw she'd boot me out too. But I'm smart I could have found ways to talk to Persephone and see her, without Demeter. Like the Helmet of Invisibility. Wow, why did I not think of using that, to sneak in and speak to her. It would have been more romantic than "My husband literally swept me off my feet, when he kidnapped me." And the mortals, are calling it the rape of Persephone. I did not rape her. I let her be, I just wanted to be near her. She knows that now. We got close when I first took her. I fell deeply in love then. She did too. I recall the first time she said it. It was her second time coming back. She missed me, when she went back to Demeter. Speaking of her, I glance back. No Way. Has she been glaring this whole time? I can tell I have an uneasy look on my face. I shift in my seat and lean back rather than slouch on my arm against the arm rest. I sigh softly. And suddenly I feel comfort on my right hand. Persephone squeezes it gently, I don't like at her, but I do close my eyes and smile. I love her. I side glance at Demeter. Yeah, take that sis. Then I look at Persephone. These meeting got just a little bit better.

Hold up. What did Zeus just say?


	3. Ares

**Meeting in Mount Olympus:**

_**Ares**_

Holy Ares. Dad is so boring; I just want to kill myself. Hey, Uncle Hades is here. Yay. He's my favourite Uncle. I don't know if it is just because he can keep up with the times, or because he just does not care. Like Uncle Poseidon, always asks me Aphrodite, we're through. We've been through for almost half a century. Wait, did dad just talk about a cat? I thought this was about granny Gaia. I should listen. Mom's glaring. I hate her glare; she'd kill me if she weren't the goddess of maternity. I'm gonna listen now. Oh dang, Uncle Hades is getting talked too. Wow, he's so cool, he just stared. I'm gonna be like that too. I want a pomegranate. Persephone ate those. Damn. He scored Persephone, nobody could score Persephone. I wonder if I'm physic. _Hey, Artemis, make me a sandwich._ Nope, didn't work. I hate that stupid kid. With her stupid arrows, and her stupid "Get away from away from me, Ares, you have a penis." attitude.

I hate her faggot brother. Apollo. That kid has got to get a woman. Nothing against homosexuality, but he goes for both. I don't think that's right. Either dicks or chicks. That's my motto. Seriously, he's like the man-Aphrodite. He thinks he's so hot. Maybe he is because he is the God of the Sun. Wow, Artemis of the moon and Apollo of the sun. How lame can you get? First their names match, but what they rule over too? I'll kill him.

Then there's Athena. The favourite kid. I tried to get to know that chick, but she uses the biggest words ever. Like, she called me rancorous. What is that anyways? I'm not a racoon. Speaking of animals, what's with the owl. She's so weird. And little miss "I'm too smart for you." We are both the deities of war. Okay so she's more of the think it through and make everything flawless and I'm not, doesn't mean she's better. If you take them by surprise, they can't hurt you because it's nothing that nobody can predict what you'll do next. She says it is "unnecessary aggressive action." What does that even mean? So I said "She does unnecessary passive thinking." She said that made no sense. She makes no sense. She shouldn't think she's so great. She is a virgin. I've scored hundreds of girls. I'm the better than her. I can bring a woman to her knees easily. I got Aphrodite, and she was married.

Aphrodite, stupid slut. I hate her. But I'd still get with her. She is hot. But she' is so vain, and so stupid. Every other thing she thinks about is how she's pretty. That can get so annoying. If I ever went with her again, I'd clasp her mouth shut, and rip her voice out. Seriously, it's like, can you not think of your own boobs for ten minutes, and talk about something else for once? Like my muscles? Or my countless victories? She never cared for the things I cared about. Oh there's our kid. Eros. I don't know what to think of that kid. He's a poor little sucker, for staying with his mom. He even married a mortal, and Aphrodite made her a Goddess. Why would she ever do that? She never cares for anyone but herself. Who is Aphrodite's best friend? Aphrodite.

She fought with Persephone, over some loser kid, Adonis. Why would those two like that mortal creep. He claimed her was a God, but I proved him wrong, when I got Artemis to kill him with a boar. Persephone got over it quick. After she got what she wanted, she let Hades trash out Adonis. Persephone's pretty, but she is such a little girl. I don't really get how she and Uncle Hades work out. I mean he's Mister Gloom and doom and she's little miss sunshine. But Hades is my favourite Uncle. He's so calm, cool collected. The older gods think he's boring. I think he's quite suave. I wonder what he does in the underworld. He probably rules the underworld with an Iron fist. He's the master and Lord of the dead. Oh he looked at me. Maybe he heard. But I didn't think anything bad, I praised him. He's so cool. Uncle Hades is like the personification of awesome.

Unlike dad. He's like, the thing that wouldn't shut up. I know he's the King of the Gods but he really does not need to talk so much, Whose this talking now? Eh, it's just Aunt Demeter. That lady is crazy. She's like '_Persephone this,' _and '_Persephone that.'_ Like, WTF I get that your brother is an asshole for stealing your kid, but shit, she's happily married. Nobody is complaining except _**YOU.**_ Dionysus speaks. Why the shit did we let this guy become a God of Mount Olympus? Like, Aunt Hestia, I like you and all but, you let a total dumbass join the Twelve Olympians. All he thinks about is his wine. His wine, and some chick, and partying. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for partying hard, but still, no need to bring it to these meetings.

Does anybody really want to know about getting laid? Honestly, up here getting laid is the least of anybody's worries up here. Like, dad has gotten in two of his sister's togas and they aren't complaining. Maybe mom is. Can't we like '_meeting adjourned_' this shit? I wanna get down from Olympus, kick some ass, rip up some crazy shit! My partying hard _is_ creating hell in the human world. Well it was, during the times of the Trojan War, but nowadays, nobody really pays that much attention to us Gods anymore. Doesn't mean we're unimportant. I know I am important.

…

…

…

Totally zoned out there. What the this is still going on? I refuse to talk. Unless I am called upon, which I have not been. Yay. One more look around the room. What? Eros is here? Why the hell would he be here? I stare at the kid. The hell, I hardly know this kid. I don't see why he should be here. I guess I should be nice, I mean he is my son. My son. I don't even feel like a father. I don't even remember this kid being born. Makes sense that he sticks with Aphrodite. I don't know what the hell I would do if this kid came up to me asking fatherly advice. I'd just die if he did; I don't know anything about being a father, what could I possibly tell him? Especially if it is advice about love. "Well son, to woo a girl you go and make a thousand wars and show off your power." Oh yeah, that's great dad advice. My own dad didn't even give me advice. Neither did my mom.

Aunt Hestia says that is why I am so savage. I never got parental love and nurturing. So? Neither did dad, Poseidon nor Hades. They got eaten. And _so did she_, so what the f—

Whoa. Everyone suddenly looked at me. I wonder what goes on in some of these guys' minds. Time for a little God of War role-play.

_**Persephone**_**. **_I'm the gorgeous bitch of the Underworld, and nobody was good enough except for Hades, who had to kidnap me to get my affections. I'm basically a slut. _Dumb bitch, rejecting me. Actually Her mom rejected me. Screw this shit.

_**Hades.** Lord of the Underworld, that's me. I may not be the God of the skies and king of the gods, but who cares? At least I have a wife and i love her an never slept around behind her back. i don;t have illegitimate children, and yet I am not sworn to celibacy for the rest of my immortal life. And I don't mind dead people, becasue that's all I'm surrounded by. But it took it's toll on me becasue I'm so socially awkward, I had to kidnap my wife to get her to love me. Life can suck my dick, because honestly, I'm the greatest._ He probably doesn't think like that. But, he's still the coolest in my opinion.

_**Hestia.**__ I am the virgin goddess of the hearth._ What the hell is a hearth? _I rule over family rights and shit._

_**Eros.**_ I can't say anything bad about him, he's my kid.

_**Hermes.**_ _I'm so fast cause my shoes have wings, but honestly I'm a pussy-ass pansy who really can't do much. I'm basically a mailman for the gods. Ever since I got harsh rejected by Demeter and Persephone went to Hades, I've been harsh PMS-ing. _Good gods, this guy has a kid named HERMAPHRODITE, why the _shit_ would you let anybody name your kid that? This is proof Aphrodite has no idea what is going on.

_**Hephaestus.**__ I am the hella-ugly ass faced god of the forge. My wife was knocked up a bunch of times by my bro. _(That'd be me.)_ I became a total asshole about it, so instead of confronting my whore-wife and jerk-ass-brother , I set them up in a trap, and put them out for everybody to see and laugh at._ That was the worst moment of my life.

_**Athena. **__Ares, we're both deities over war, let's be BFF's but you're a dumbass and I'm a smartass, so it wouldn't work out. Oh and you're over the top horny, so I guess it wouldn't work out cause yenno, I'me a virgin goddess._ I wouldn't even want to go down on her anyways.

_**Aphrodite.**__ After I was done with you, I threw you away because I needed more love. I scorned you and left you behind, and I knew you wouldn't get hurt because, you are a God of War. I'd never stopped to think how much I hurt you. I didn't bother to ponder on how much your relationship with your brothers would change cause of me. I used you, and moved on faster than you would ever believe I would. I never loved you. I made love to you. I'm the goddess of love, I made you feel loved, didn't I? I did my job. You felt love for a while, that should be good enough. I even came back to you after that little net fiasco, with my husband, who is one of your brothers. Yeah, I ruined you guys' relationship too, and I don't give half a shit. And about our son, I didn't tell you about him till he was an adult cause I didn't think you would care._ You know what? I may be the God of violent war and bloodshed but, I have a heart.

_**Demeter.**__ Hades took my child; that I worked so hard to keep a virgin because I don't want her to be hurt. But now she's all grown up, and I blame my brother. I hate my brother because of it._ _I hate all my brothers. Two boned me, and the other is boning my kid! My life sucks ass. _As much as it seems like it, I don't hate Persephone or Hades. I just like bashing on people, I guess. Aunt Demeter has got to let her kid go. Some moms geez, makes me appreciate my mom.

_**Poseidon.**__ I am the god of seas and earthquakes and storms. Don't piss me off or I'll cause wife is my chariot driver, and I don't feel like an asshole about that at all. I have no idea how to treat women, because sometimes, I'M HALF FISH. I'm so cool because I reproduced horses. _My goodness, my uncle is weird as hell.

_**Hera.**__ "Ares, don't even think about it."_ Oh my goddess, has she been listening this whole time? I am... so screwed.

_**Zeus.**__ My kids are either made with siblings other kids, mortals or nymphs. I have so many I can hardly keep track of them. It's okay though because I have Athena, anyone other than her is just shit. Who cares about my other kids? I don't I can neglect them if I want to. Also I don't give a damn what my wife feels._ Way to be an example dad. Maybe aunt Hestia is right. I probably do suffer neglect issues.

Shit.

Well, that sucks. Out of all the gods here, I'm the most unstable. Well there is Dionysus. He's pretty messed up. And Apollo. Maybe we all suffer some sort of mental instability. I mean the big 6 got eaten by their dad. I never met my grandfather. I don't want to. Shit, I'd try to murder him if he ever tried to eat me. These meetings make me feel so restless; I think my leg has fallen asleep. I feel the weird tingly of ants crawling up and down my leg. I hate this, it's so weird. I should shake it off. _Oh shit, _people are watching me now. I want it to go away, but I just can't shake my leg. Maybe if I scratch… with my sword. But then people might freak out.

I just want to get out of here right now. Please, end this. Uncle Hades, if you can hear me, zap me to the Underworld, I'd rather be in Tartarus than here! This sucks! I can feel my brain melting! It's going to flow like lava from my ears soon! Please! Artemis, we don't get along and you're terrified of my dick, but please, send me to the moon! I'm losing my mind; this itch, MY GOODNESS. _Oh shit, mom glares._ I smile at her. She is none too amused. I was amused. Now I'm bored again.

…Evil Mom. Neglective dad.

…Weird ass relatives.

…Harsh rejection.

Life's a bitch sometimes. And what did dad just say?

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_Writer's block sorry! Anyways... I think Ares is really moody, so i made him moody (:_

_Reviews are appreciated. But **No harsh flaming, I will cry.**_


	4. Artemis

**Meeting in Mount Olympus: **

_Artemis_

I am the goddess of the hunt. Wow, really dad? Goddess of the hunt? No wonder the centaur boys and even mortal boys didn't like me. Of all the un-feminine things to call me, you granted me. The Hunt. Oh. My. Goodness. I mean, what;d you do? Mix up me and Apollo? Seriously, you gave him stuff like dance and arts to be the god of. And you made me… hunt. I should have been the one playing the lyre. I should be making the love poems. I should be dancing and stuff. Really, did you mix us up that badly? I'm 9 days older, I helped mom pop that little brat outta her womb. Oh yeah so now I'm goddess of the hunt AND fertility. So like… I'm the friggen paradox of the family. Fertility which is womanly and hunt, which is not. Okay seriously. I know Athena has war but she's got wisdom and, oh what is that? _Crafts._ First of all, why do crafts need a goddess or a god? Are they that rebellious? Ugh, I feel like the family reject right about now. Then I see Ares.

Haha, never mind. I'm the second family reject. And then there's little half brother Dionysus, and Hermes. Nah I'm just one of the rejects. Let's take a look at some of my loser brothers.

Ares. That little asshole. Always ran around hitting stuff and pushing stuff, and hurting me. Yeah I punched square in the nose to teach him a lesson. And who went crying to mommy Hera? Him. God of war? Ha. Ha. Don't make me laugh. I mean he's such a princess. Honestly if he weren't my brother I'd have that child castrated. Well he's not a child anymore. But ever since the Trojan war has been over, he's done nothing but bother me. Yuck, he should not come near me. He's so gross, little booger eater. I glare at him. He glares back. Tch, he probably thinks I'm scared of his dick. Yeah right. If he took that thing out on me, I'd take an arrow and shove it right up there. Nobody is breaking my hymen. I smirk to myself. Yeah, Ares is a little over the top horny, violent cry-baby.

Dionysus. I have no clue about that guy. I just know he kind of came, and everybody is like '_Nuh-uh you ain't touchin' my seat'_ and aunt Hestia just upped and left. Way to kick of one of the few goddesses with senses. Like really. Dad, you gave Aunt Hestia's spot… to him? Just because he's your kid. Wish I got that special treatment, but nuh-uh. Nobody notices the middle child. I look at my baby brother. Is he… asleep? No. way. He's here, and aunt Hestia is off the 12 seats of Olympus. Smart.

Hermes. Not much to say about him. I think he's older. He used to be pretty cool, until his childhood crush dumped him for our Uncle. Yeah, Persephone. When me and Hermes were close, he used to talk about Persephone, and how pretty her hair is and how she was so cute, and she is so beautiful. Then she left him on earth and in Olympus. After "leading him on." Personally, I don't think she ever led him, on, she was just being Persephone. Naïve cousin Persephone. When she left Hermes became all doom and gloom. He hated escorting people to the Underworld after that, but he did it to see her. And he began to like... curse Uncle Hades. Hahah, as if that'd help him. But anyways, he was pretty awesome, we used to race together and hunt together. He used to be so decent. After that he began hitting on me, and I was like "peace out sucka." And then he jumps all over Aphrodite. Everyone does.

Doesn't she care that she's basically every male's sex doll? If they just want a good roughing about or their heart broken and need something to vent it one, there she is, arms and legs spread wide open. She's the Olympus whore. I don't think she knows it, or cares. But who wouldn't? I would hate to be in that position. Made love to but, never truly loved. It has to be hard. Well, I guess being the goddess of love, lust, beauty and sex makes it so that she couldn't care less, but she has to have feelings. Right? Everyone here has feelings, I'd know. I have some odd sixth sense. Maybe it has something crazy to do with the moon. I look to the only one with no relations to Zeus, except perhaps… great aunt… She was born from Uranus' discarded testes after all. Dang. That chick is o-o-o-old.

I glance around. Oh my gosh, Hera always give her non-children the evil eye. It's scary as hell. Haha, Hades. Anyways, it's like she wished we were never born.

Then again, I'd hate it if my husband were and over promiscuous infidel. This is one reason I do not want to have sex, EVER. Men can be just too much of animals; I prefer to find them, hunt them and leave. It's just a hassle to keep one and tie it up, only to care for it and nurture it, offering you utmost love and respect, then have them run off. Geez, why are women so dependant. Reason number two for my sworn virginity, birth. You would not believe the horrors I go through because I am the goddess of fertility. Every day, I hear prayers of agonizing women, trying to squeeze that child out. One time I was hunting with my dogs, and suddenly I hear this shriek that must have shook the underworld, and it's a lady. Giving birth. To her fourth child. If it hurts that much. Stop. _Insert smiley face here._ Tch, what smiley face? I have no reason to smile. Do I? Like, I recall Apollo's birth. Mommy had an easy time pumping me out, but oh, when Apollo came. She's like "_Artemis, be a good girl, help mommy."_ And being an intense mommy's girl at the time I oblige, only to see her scream, squirm, and push in pain and labour for dear baby brother to come out. Being like a little kid at the time, I was totally traumatized. That's why I made Zeus vow to never, _ever_ marry me off.

I look at Uncle Hades. I don't know why I looked at him, but I guess it's because we both have a connection to darkness and stuff. I think Uncle Hades is possible one of the most normal family members. Besides the fact that he's kind of awkward and he had to kidnap his woman, in order for her to love him, and he is a little bit dark. Then I look at Persephone who looks at me. We smile. She really is a sweet girl. Mortals nickname her Iron queen Persephone, all because she is Hades' wife. But I remember when we talked about it once. She was so gracious about it. In fact, she kind of appreciated it. It made her feel more mature, rather than darling Miss Kore. To be honest I like Persephone more than Kore. Kore is too sweet. Too innocent. Too Naïve. Persephone is stronger, smarter, and powerful. Kore was cute, Persephone is sexy. Although they are a somewhat strange kind of _how-did-they-get-together _couple, they are a quite handsome, dark couple. She's pretty lucky that she can have sex without a baby happening. I don't know why I keep letting myself drift to couples.

I look over to Apollo. My bisexual brother. As much as I love him, and despite how close we are, I have to admit Apollo get on my nerves sometimes. Mr. Sunshine. Pfft, he makes me feel so manly sometimes. And sometimes he makes me so mad. Like that time we were hunting together and he said my skills weren't that great. I beat him, but he doesn't want to admit it. Besides, what does he know? He spends all his time up here on Olympus. Seriously. He is such a little know it all.

Like daddy's girl, big sister Athena. She's cool and everything and yeah, we're close but oh my goodness. Every time we hunt or just simply go out, she's all like Artemis, you're doing it wrong. Artemis you're holding your bow funny. Artemis there are mortals. I am not stupid, Athena, I know the stuff that goes on in the world. All because she is the goddess of wisdom, and Daddy's favourite, it automatically makes her the absolute top of the world. No she isn't, in fact she's in the same ranks as dumbass sword happy brother Ares. But at times, Athena is pretty cool. She's trustworthy, brave and intelligent. It's admirable, when she isn't rubbing it in my face. When it is other people's ace it's pretty funny.

Not as funny as Dionysus. He can be so hilarious, always falling and partying and getting drunk. He's gotten drunk so much, he has children he doesn't really know about. I bet he doesn't even know that he knocked up Nyx, and she is one crazy bitch. They have one kid, Phthonus, jealousy and envy, obviously a kid of Nyx's. He's also gotten down on Aphrodite, also drunk night. The one person I do not think he had a drunk night with is Ariadne. She never has minded that her husband has had one too many crazy nights, she is a sweet girl. She, Persephone and I often talk when we get the chance. She's a nice girl. Lovely.

Oh my goodness, all I think about our couples and love and that mushy stuff. I don't want to. I don't mean to. I just do. _Orion._ No way Arty, don't even think of him. Don't think about anything. You're a strong independent woman, who does not need a man. I do not need a man to make me feel good. I do not need anything. I have my hunting dogs, my bow and arrows, and I have my beauty. I am good. I'm set for my life. My long, immortal life. I can't help but let my eyes wander to a ring, so I cover it with my hand. I look back up hand once again see Hera glare at me. _Am I to blame if your husband is unfaithful._ She glares more and then turns away. Am I the only one her angry look has fallen upon? Ugh. Stupid. This family is stupid.

Why is this meeting still going on? Does it matter that Gaia is coming? She might be mother earth, but who really cares? Zeus is god of the skies, what does he need earth for? What do I need earth for? I have to moon. I don't need earth. So I should just get up and storm out of here. I see Ares stare at me, I glare at him. What does he want? Why is everyone looking at me? I bet I have something on my face. That always happens up here. Whenever we have a feast, after I eat, there is always something on my face, and nobody ever bothers to mention it to me, everyone just stares. Jerks. I do care about the way I look, don't be fooled by the fact that I'm goddess of the hunt, I still like to look my best. Getting dirty comes with hunting, you're not gonna stay clean and fresh while out in the muddy forest and dirty woods. Animals aren't exactly the cleanest things in the world. I'm not going to jump on a pig and it'll be on clean ground and I'll be clean while it does not writhe my arms. I roll my eyes. Actually it is quite the opposite. Whatever.

I really just want to get back to my followers and start hunting again. It's not like this meeting is anywhere near important. Great granny Gaia.

I'd kill for a cake right now. I'm so hungry. It's just ridiculous, I wish people would offer cakes again, but no, one priest had to be like, ARTEMIS LIKES DEAD ANIMALS. Yeah, when I get them _myself._ Now everyone's running around giving me dead game. Like, I am a girl; I do appreciate sweets every now and then. I miss the honey cakes, and the grapes and all things in between. Now I have to give the dead things to my brothers, so my offerings are basically crap that go to my brothers. Stupid, stupid mortals. Gah. I need a new priest.

Aunt Demeter is so creepy, this whole time she has done nothing but glare right at Uncle Hades, it's like she can't get over the fact that he married her daughter. Aunt Hestia was right, it great being a virgin. Because you have no responsibilities over little annoying things that go bump, every time of the day. And you have no need to worry about sexually transmitted diseases and all sorts of other things that are horrible. Aunt Hestia is also the only normal one. Actually I think she is the normal of the normal-est. Kind of sad if you ask me. Really sad, our family has like three or four normal people. Lame. Is my brother picking his nose? Ew. Oh no, wait. Just scratching the outside. He's so gross. I roll m eyes once again. Honestly Apollo can be so disgusting. He's like… such a baby.

Oh life, why are you so cruel to me. I have to say, it is pretty cruel. I mean have you heard my legends? They are so-o-o-o stupid. _SO stupid_. Why do I even bother feeding my ego, there is really nothing to feed. I guess I have some stories, but really how do I go down? Artemis, Virgin Goddess of the Hunt and Fertility, meaning... Arty, Goddess who will never be laid, and yet deals with pregnancy and vents it out by killing bunnies. Thank you, mortals. Thank you all so much for the kindness of your twisted thoughts. Although, I have to say, that is quite imaginative. NOT. Good goddesses. I just really do not want to be here.

Am I wrong to be feeling this? Am I wrong to hate being in meetings? Why couldn't this be a feast or a festival? Those are quite enjoyable. I mean, seriously these "_meetings_" bring out the worst in me. I become more of a demon than a Goddess, and a Goddess I surely am. For now I guess. Unless, _oh shit_, Hades and Persephone are like crazy PDA-ing and Demeter is right across from them. Oh my gosh, Hera gave Ares an angry eye and he totally looked away. My family is so messed up. I really have to go see someone about this. Perhaps the fates, Clotho is youngest looking, I suppose she'd be the best choice. Or Hecate, fellow Goddess of the moon. You know what, screw it. I'll live with my abnormalities, I trust these people. It is too screwed up to burden anyone. And I have this cool refined image to keep up. I gotta stay looking cool and calm. Like the moon. Yeah.

Cool, calm, collected. Sexy…

What did my father just say?

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**Artemis was hard, there are too many depictions of her, i had to like... combine them all. She may come off as cool and yenno... mysterious, mischievous but.. depp down she's an emotional girl.**

**Anyways, reviews are so greatly appreciated, and i love to know opinions, especially who should come next?  
**


	5. Apollo

_**Hey, sorry for the long update gap. My laptop crashed, and my old computer doesn't have the software I like using for writing stories. But this chapter is going to be Apollo, because it only makes sense after Artemis. Hope you guys like, the slightly bisexual Apollo. (**_quicky little note: _This is Apollo`s more… feminine side speaking, or the start of his speeches. _**This Apollo`s manly masculine side, and the start of his speaking.** All else is probably just Apollo's normalness.)

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**Meeting in Mount Olympus: **

_Apollo_

O M G. I don't even remember why we're here. All I remember is sitting in a little field basking in my handy work, yes the glorious sun, and no Helios does not get under credited. After all I am the God of the sun, twin brother to the divine virgin Goddess, Artemis. My sister is so strung up about her being the moon goddess. It's not my fault I'm so much more prettier than her. My hair has lush golden sun kissed curls, and hers are just loose brunette waves. Can she blame me that my hair does not lack volume. Is it really my fault I was _born so-o-o-o-o beautiful?_

I mean…Handsome. Dashing. Anyway, Dad is so caught up about this meeting, and he's talking about how we should be more familial and- hello, Aphrodite. Damn that chick is one hot trick. I mean, we're gods, we can't carry sexually transmitted diseases, so she runs around to everyone everywhere. It's so amazing. And then after we talk about super cute _boys!_** No, I mean**…I don't know what I meant. I swore off men like ages ago, I swore off my feminine side! Why is she coming back?

_Honey, you will never escape me. _

My heart races, I blame my mom. If she didn't keep me trapped in her damned womb for an extended nine days, her womanly-ness wouldn't have seeped into my system. Now I'm where I am. _And if it were like, not for me, you'd be totally as plain as Artemis._ **Artemis is gorgeous in her own way**. _Says you-u-u. _I hate that sing song girly voice that plays in my head. I hate that girly side. I hate it so much. I know I'm the ass of most of the jokes that my half siblings make. I know the guys are all like, Apollo's half gay. It's so mean_, like_, I have feelings too. **Not that I'd show them no.**_But I do._ Oh my goodness, they can all be so mean.

Seriously, the meanest is Ares. He can be so ru-u-u-de. It's like, bo-o-o-y do _not_ get your panties in a bunch because you are banging up on the hottest girl in Hellas, who bangs other guys. I mean why would you feel bad? The one who should feel bad is Hephaestus, and he's actually married to her? You cannot go up to him to complain about your love life with Aphrodite; I mean she is banging **hot. She's banging hot. **If Persephone and Psyche are hot, she takes it to a whole, new, level. Damn. Seriously, you cannot expect a chick like that to stay committed to one man, she'll run around everywhere.

This is exactly why I protect Artemis. I do not want her in the same spot Aphrodite is. In all honesty, I don't want anyone dogging on my sister. I get that she is older than me, and yes I am being a hypocrite, but I'm looking out for her. I don't know whether or not she understands that. I know she's still got some issues with the whole Orion thing. _He was a man. _**Anyways,** sure, Artemis isn't a classic beauty, but she has got charisma. She has charm, and there is that thing about her you cannot hate. Have you ever heard anyone say they hate the moon? Artemis is like the moon. Pale, mysterious, enticing; I ask, who has ever hated the moon. I have heard many in Hellas say they hate the sun. I have heard mystical beings say, they'd rather have no sun. But nobody could live in the night without the moon.

Even the great Lord Hades, prefers the moon. _Well, duh! He's the God of the underworld, what do you think he likes? _**He's married to the Goddess of Spring! **_That proves nothing? When she's with him, she is in the Underworld! She doesn't carry sun with her _**She brought flowers into the Underworld and created artificial Sunlight there! **_And does he always go near that sunlight? _**From her stories? Yes, he actually does. **_You're an idiot. _**You.**_You keep quiet. You know, I doubt Hades even notices between sun or moon. He's in the underworld! It's so dark down there, the shadows are their light! _**Okay first, that is a stereotype, it is actually shadowy not dark. Second of all, how can there be shadows if you say that there is no light? **Yeah, you stay quiet. Anyways it is all true about Artemis.

I turn to look at Artemis, but instead Ares catches my eye. We really hate each other. It's because of our conflicting personas. He's really aggressive, violent. I'm pretty calm. Even without my feminine side, I am rather calm. I like sitting back and just relaxing. Taking a breather. He wants to cause trouble. He wants to have a ruckus. He enjoys a good fight. I hate the sight of blood. He loves it. _He lo-o-o-ves it!_ …Yeah, anyways, Ares, can be such a prick, because even if he's Hera's son; Zeus' only legitimate son, he thinks he's such a big shot. Seriously, that kid can be a pansy. I fricken cry baby pansy. I swear by the Styx, thatgod is no god. Not in my eyes at least. But enough about Ares. I think the one person here I cannot stand is… Yeah it is Ares, but I am horribly terrified of Hades. I know he is my uncle, but we see different sides of the pantheon spectrum. He likes darkness, I love the light. He sticks to one woman, I love them all. Well most of them.

And his wife, Persephone. That chick has some crazy PMS issues. She is like, one minute sweet as ambrosia, and then bitter as a weed. It's so very confusing. I don't know if that is the effects of the underworld. Athena and Artemis say it is the shift of her powers. They were repressed before she went into the underworld. Once she was there, she had triggered them, and they began to grow rapidly, causing an imbalance in her personality. Personally I think she's just PMS-y. _Nah, Athena and Art are right, it probably is a major imbalance of her powers. Not to mention the development of her power over darkness; which clashes with her powers of sun, flora and life._** True that. **Anyways, Yeah, Persephone is the one chick, who scares the hell out of me. And Athena's probably one of the nicest, just too smart.

I love auntie Hestia, she is so nice and wise. She's so normal. Mistress Aunt Hera and Demeter are so bitter and angry. I guess I do understand them. After all, Aunt Demeter's daughter was abducted and then married to her older brother, and Hera has, well, dad. And he may be king of the gods, doesn't exactly make him the best husband around. He's not even a great father. He was never there for me, nor Art. He did not help any of his children, not even his favourite got a lot of love from him. I guess we all just kind of got a "You are the god/goddess of blah, blah, blah" and go from him. No hugs, nor kisses. Just a pat on the head. Eh, who really needs a father anyways. Not like I'm going to be one. I would never want to either, too much work, too much though, too much commitment. I wouldn't suit being a father. I wouldn't suit being a husband. _I am a lover, nothing more, nothing less. _**Perhaps** that is why Aphrodite slept with me that one time; I'm a no strings attached guy.

But her son is one asshole. Seriously, why did he have to do that? Toy with my heart. I'm still pretty broken about Daphne. I loved her. Not on my own, but I was in love with her. And she hated me. She was absolutely repulsed by me. She was so hateful and disdainful; she ran away from me and was actually willing to be changed into a laurel tree. And Zephyrus; damn him. Because he was jealous the _beautiful Hyacinthus and I loved one another. As if I had no feelings, he let the golden disk fly into the gorgeous prince's head and the blood dripped from his forehead. Damn love. _Yeah, no kidding. I have no use for love. I have no use for any of this. Not even this stupid meeting.

Nobody does, seriously. It is only mother Gaia. She doesn't mean too much. Not much to me. I guess she should, but she just doesn't. I love her and all but I do not see why we need to have a family meeting. Is this a family meeting? I glance around. Yeah it is my huge, bizarre, dysfunctional family meeting. Yeah, that is exactly what we are. Everyone is related, and it's because daddy Zeus can't contain his dick. If he could, maybe some of the lesser gods and goddesses could be up here. Maybe even the nymphs. I love them nymphs, and they love me. **Any word about Daphne and I will send a plague upon all mankind.** Truly though, I love nymphs.

I see my sister twist in her seat, and Ares bob his head. I also see Persephone and Hades hold each other's hand and a fuming Aunt Demeter. Hera is, as per usual, pouting angrily at all the illegitimates, myself included. It is quite depressing to just be here. I'd love to just sit back, and take a nice nap. Play the lyre for a lady or two, which is why Hermes is my best friend and half brother, our passion for the lyre.

HOLD THE LYRE…

No. Way.

What did dad just say?

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_**OKAY , so my laptop crashed and my parents brought it to future shop, who couldn't fix it so we brought it to an asian place, and the fixed it up, and we just got it back. My update gaps will now be like two weeks - a month because, i have school and i took to AP courses, and i have like a tonnes of reading courses and stuff, so reports and essays are just everywhere. God bless me (:**_

**_ANYWAYS, hoped you guys like Apollo. I loved writing his, but it was short because I really want to work on Dionysus and Aphrodite. Love all you who wait faithfully!_**

**_REVIEW WITH LOVE, NO HATERS, i'll cry :'( THANKS ALL ! (:_**


	6. Aphrodite

**Meeting in Mount Olympus: **

_Aphrodite_

I really should not be here. I should be with the centaurs, or the mortals, or the lesser gods for them to bask in my beauty. Nobody should be deprived of the sultry bats of my lashes, or the stream of my beautiful, golden, sun kissed tresses; not to mention the heavy gaze of my sea foam eyes. I am the embodiment of beauty. I am Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty. Everything about me is beautiful. Not an inch of me is undesirable. I am everything a man could ever want. No other rivals my charms, my appearance, my very essence. Whoever challenges me, will be greatly embarrassed. I glance around the room and scoff inwardly at these young goddesses. How they are so plain compared to me. How they are nothing in comparison to me.

Athena, your beauty… Oh, what beauty? You have nothing but brawn and intelligence, but it was not your fault. You who was born from the brain of an oaf. Yes, I may not be nearly as smart or wise as you, but I am twice, no thrice as beautiful as you. I laugh at you and Hera, who competed for the position of goddess of beauty, love and sex. Hah, as if you would ever best my splendour. As soon as I stepped foot on Olympus, I had all the gods gawking. I could see how they looked at me, and overlooked you. Who wants brains when they can have breasts? No wonder you are a chaste goddess? Who wants a little know it all for a lover? Who wants a woman who is equally as _butch_? Surely, no man on Olympus. They want a dainty, small waisted lover, they want a woman.

And same to you Artemis, goddess of the hunt. Chaste goddess of the hunt and moon. Silly little girl, hide behind your brother. Do not try and overthrow my reign as the beauty queen. The light of your moon will never outshine the light of my hair. Your moon is reflected in my sea. The crystal blue of your eyes pales, in comparison to the sea foam green of mine. And your boring auburn tresses, hah. Men only look to you as a companion; a partner to hunt with. Otherwise you are useless. Even your own brother is more feminine than you. Your brother had more male lovers than you ever would or did. Oh, and he is a very, very good lover. One of my favourites, when I am so bored and alone.

Persephone. How dare you try and take Adonis away from me. Yes, he is way out of our lives, and he was mortal, but you could not dare contrast to me. I won. Adonis came to me during his free time. Adonis and I made love under the stars, and under the sun. Adonis pressed his hard muscles against my soft, petal skin. He desired me; he let his passion for me fuel our intimacy. And it was good. Who do you have? Hades. I admit he is rather attractive, and yes he has that dark and mysterious quality to him, however, Adonis, he was a true man. He was the best of the best, and we made love.

Hera, … "_**You little slut, don't even try bad mouthing me or I'll smite you right here, right now.**_" Never mind.

Demeter, you're literally too dirty; covered in the grime of the earth, and your hair caked with mud. That scraggly, sun burnt brunette nest, is so… blech. Everything about you is blech. Even though, you can retain that youth-like figure, and your face is unmarred by the stresses of motherhood, you're still just the goddess of agriculture. Where you smell of earth and soil, I smell of cotton and nectar. Eat more, you're like the trees. Twiggy and lanky. It is not attractive. I would know. Men don't just crawl to me for my face, but for my long toned legs, my round tight buttocks and my pert tender breasts; none of which you have.

Hestia, how could I ever say a bad thing to you? You have always been so kind and loving. You welcomed me so kindly upon my entering Olympus. I will simple offer you my humblest advice. For your hair; it is so covered in soot from that hearth of yours. I know your hair is auburn, like most girls in your family, but it is nourished. So, clean the sooty black smidges from your rich auburn mane, and let is swish freely and beautifully. And your eyes; open them more often. I know you have this serene, virgin goddess of the hearth thing to keep up, but your eyes, although black as night, should be viewed by the world. You deserve it. They deserve it. Although when I enter the room, you'll be forgotten, at least you were noticed once.

But really, who wants any of those girls, when they can have this one. I am the real deal. I am a real woman. I am a real goddess. Love, beauty and _sex_ are my profession. I have bedded all the men in this pantheon. All but Hades. I stare at him; he stares back, could this be a connection? No, I feel no warmth from his eyes, only a dense black hole. Who needs him; he belongs to some stupid little princess. I have lain by Hermes, Poseidon, Dionysus, and Ares. I was openly welcomed into their beds, and they were warmly received in my arms, and more. And yes, I supposes Hephaestus can be considered in my list of consorts. He is my _husband_. Poor disgusting beast. We have only shared a bed, never once have we made love. Who does he think he is anyways, Zeus?

Oh Zeus, he is a man as well. I would try to enrapture him with my feminine wiles, but I do fear Hera (_**You had better)**_ so. And I respect her. It matters not, I still have my lovers. Hermes still joins me, and at times I am visited by other mortal men. Dionysus left me after that stupid _Ariadne _princess was discovered. She's not even attractive. She is so unadorned. I don't see why Dionysus would stay committed to her. He was such a good lover, especially after we had a couple drinks of his wines and nectars. They were so delicious, and oh so intoxicating, it made our romping all the more enjoyable. Now, he has this mortal-turned-goddess. She has no power, only immortality, just like that silly little girl, Psyche. They both enjoy each other's presence, because they think they are so high and mighty. Girls, you only have immortality and youth.

Hermes is good, but he is so simple. And he's too quick. Our fornication was often to swift, he had no stamina. Apollo has visited me once. That sun god, he is almost as beautiful as I. But we have only rutted once. And I had Ares, but he left me. I can't see why. That lout, how dare he leave me. We were amazing together, us two. Our sex was amazing, it was not just sex, it was love making. The way our bodies meshed together, and the heavy pants of breath. I miss the pleasure and the immense climaxes we could grant, it was amazing. It was not just about the sex, the connection was great too. But he fell into the trap o commitment. Can love be bound? Shouldn't beauty be shared? Is sex not a gift? Am I not all those things and so much more? He wished for me to be his, and his alone. I said no, and now, we are forced to take our passions to others. I know he has other women he lays with, but I know it is me he thinks about.

It hardly matters, I do not need him. I am Aphrodite.

I am beautiful. I am wanted.

I look at Hermes and throw him a seductive, flirtatious smile. He does not smile back, but I cannot help but smirk, knowing why he does not return my affectionate gesture. Ares and Hephaestus. They are both here. They both antagonize him and each other. I wish I could laugh at the hold I have over these men. Dionysus pays no heed to my philandering. He has Ariadne to return to. I hate how Dionysus and Hermes are close. I know they talk about me, those jerks. How dare they insult me.

I know how everyone talks about me. The girls are just jealous. I have heard Artemis, Persephone and Athena whisper about me, and my prurience. It is envy, jealousy that is over taking them. If I could I would use the power of my charms on them. However, Artemis has that sixth sense that makes her prone to my charms, Athena is simply to smart and Persephone's abilities over darkness clouds my alluring magic. So, I can't lure them into liking me and then curse them. And I would not dare do that to Hera, or her sisters. I would be punished greatly, and sometimes, immortality can be a disadvantage.

But sometimes, I can envy those young goddesses. I can envy Artemis, and the love her brother has for her. That love, which only a sibling can have. I envy Athena, and the fatherly affection Zeus offers her, not to mention the people of Athens who cherish her so dearly. And Persephone, loved dearly by her mother, and even more so by her husband, faithful and caring. I am jealous of Hera respected by the matrons of the world, and loved by the faithful wives of Hellas. Demeter, adored by mortals for her generous ways, and Hestia, loved by all, because she is the simple goddess. They should thank me. I do not cause a disturbance in their relationships. I do not disrupt the love they hold. I let them have it, I allow them to keep their lovers and worshipers. Ingrates. I am love. I have all the love I need, and yet, not enough to fulfil my wants.

Yes, I do miss Ares. And I do want to love Hephaestus. But I cannot. Why? Simple, because I am the salacious, lascivious, amorous goddess of love, beauty and sex. I Am Aphrodite. What more needs to be said?

I… What did Zeus just say?

_**Who thought Aphrodite would be a ditz? Honestly, I wanted her to be seen as a ditz from outside view, but reality is she is much more than that. She has a brain, it's just self centered. She's more than looks. She's looks and vanity. **_

_**Thank you to all my reviewers! I love you all so much! These reviews inspire me to write more, so if you guys want more, review! Even if it is like "Good." I love them all, beggars can't be choosers right? So as always, criticism should be kind, and no flames, or I cry. THANKS ALL!**_

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